


unconventional conversations

by counter_illumination



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Extended Universe, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Established Relationships, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Family Bonding, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Memes, Multi-media, Mutual Pining, Pop Culture, Protective Bruce Wayne, Social Media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22699120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counter_illumination/pseuds/counter_illumination
Summary: Bruce:Am I "extra?"...Steph:im sending this to the gci cant believe thisBruce:...What "gc?"Bruce is a tired single dad of ... he's lost track of just exactlyhowmany kids he has or doesn't have. Anyway, he's fine. He's got his kids and he's got his vigilante night hobby. He's not lonely, no matter what Cass and Babs think.Or: A social media based batfamily fic that explores the growing relationship between Bruce and Clark through the eyes of his (many) kids. Each chapter focuses on the social media presence through the point of view of one batfamily member. Background pairings are mentioned as well.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Jon Lane Kent & Damian Wayne, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 92
Kudos: 602





	1. Bruce

**Author's Note:**

> This work is not mobile-friendly. Make sure the creator's style is turned **on.**  
>  All resources/code will be listed in the end notes.

From: hr@wayneenterprises.com

Subject:  IMPORTANT: Q2 Board Meeting; Attendance MANDATORY 

To: bruce.wayne@wayneenterprises.com

CC: Tim Drake;

Today at 9:15 AM

Attached:  notice.doc (5.1 MB)  Q1_earnings_chart.png (1.2 MB) 

Hello,

Please be advised that the 2nd Quarter Board Meeting is to be held at  10 AM on Friday, May 8th in conference room 5302-C. 

Attendance is mandatory.

If you cannot make it in person, you may call-in via Cisco WebEx. Any questions or technical difficulties are to be sent to IT Support.

Confirm your attendance by clicking  here.

Thank you,

W.E. HR Department.

From: tim.drake@wayneenterprises.com

Subject:  FWD: IMPORTANT: Q2 Board Meeting; Attendance MANDATORY 

To: bruce.wayne@wayneenterprises.com

Today at 11:47 AM

Out of office until next Monday. Situation in California took an unexpected turn—won’t be attending the meeting. Not going to wake up at 7 AM to go over quarterly report earnings either.

Make sure you show up or else Tam will kill both of us.

\- Tim

#  Daily-Gazette

### The Titans Stop Series of Explosions in The Financial District

  
By Cat Grant  
Daily-Gazette Contributor  


  
  


SAN FRANCISCO – Early morning commuters were barricaded by police between Pacific Avenue and Jackson Street after a bomb detonated in Walton Square. No injuries were reported after the initial explosion as the park happened to be closed that morning for maintenance. The police are working closely with the FBI to evaluate the area and lift the travel restrictions

  


The Titans were quickly on the scene this morning, mere seconds after the initial explosion, to help find and defuse the remaining half a dozen bombs, saving the lives of thousands of civilians in downtown San Francisco. There has been no official statement yet regarding who is to blame for the travesty, but eyewitness accounts report hearing some of the Titans mention the notorious villain, Deathstroke.

  


We will be updating this story with additional information once the official police reports are released.

  


Read the latest news at:[daily-gazette.com](http://www.daily-gazette.com/)

  


Tim  
  
Today  11:48 AM  
Got your email.  
I’ll let Tam know that  
you won’t be attending.  
  
Today 11:52 AM  
Heard about the news in  
San Francisco. Try to avoid  
the downtown area.  
Delivered 11:52 AM

  


Clark Kent  
  
Today  11:53 AM  
Status update on Tim.  
  
Good morning to you too.  
  
Kon says they’re fine,  
and no one is badly hurt.   
Some bruises and cuts  
but no broken bones.  
  
It’s almost noon.   
Today  11:56 AM ...  
Thank you.  
  
You're welcome, Bruce.   


  


Tim  
  
Today 11:52 AM  
Heard about the news in  
San Francisco. Try to avoid  
the downtown area.  
Read 12:13 PM  
Today  12:15 PM  
Work’s been hectic lately.  
I might be out of the country  
for some unexpected  
business thing  
Not really sure atm...  
Which country?  
...  
Will Conner be  
accompanying you?  
Read 12:20 PM  
some island in  
the South Pacific  
I think?  
Kon, Cassie, and  
Bart are going.  
Keep me updated.  
Stay safe.  
Read 12:27 PM  
Will do.  
Thanks, dad.  


  


Conner Kent  
  
Today  12:28 PM  
I expect a status update  
on Tim every few hours and  
daily end-of-the-day reports.  
  
???  
  
is this Bruce?  
  
Yes.  
  
You will also forward me  
the coordinates of your  
rendezvous point.   
  
does Tim know you’re doing this???  
  
I can’t just send you  
confidential information  
like that  
  
why not ask him yourself  
  
...  
  
how are you terrifying  
even over text wtf   
  
Send me the reports, Conner.  
  
alright alright calm down  
I’ll send them  
  
but if Tim finds out  
I’m claiming duress.   
  
:)  
  
Read 12:36 PM  
  
oh my god   
  


  


Tim  
  
Today  12:39 PM  
what did you say to my bf   
hes been shaking for  
the past five minutes  
Nothing important.  
please stop threatening Kon  
hes scared of you already  
stop making it worse  
Good. He should be.  
no, wait   
Enjoy your trip.  
ugh, fine  
bye  
I'll see you on Monday, then.  


  


  


UNKNOWN NUMBER  
  
Today  1:10 PM  
RR rendezvous coordinates:  
-18.115950, 178.386853  
5/2/2020 @ 22:00  
not your fucking lapdog, B  
  
replacements got his  
superboyfriend w/ him  
leave me alone  
  
Hood, this is serious.  
Deathstroke is involved.  
  
so?   
  
fighting slade is a rite of  
passage for robins   
  
you were never this  
overprotective with me  
  
I *almost* feel bad for the brat.  
  
I know I haven’t been  
the best at expressing my  
concern in the past.  
  
I apologize if you felt  
unwanted. I care about you  
and your siblings equally.  
  
Read 1:17 PM  
ok dr phil.   
chill with the  
impromptu emotional  
confessions  
  
besides i cant go bc  
im busy with the outlaws  
  
so ask dickhead to do it  
  
Nightwing is on a mission.  
Black Bat and Spoiler are  
leaving overseas in a few days.  
Robin and I are dealing  
with a case in Gotham.  
You’re in your apartment  
watching The Real  
Housewives of Gotham City  
with Arsenal and Starfire.  
Read 1:22 PM  
B, how the fuck do you  
know that? why are you  
such a goddamn paranoid  
stalker,,,  
PLEASE seek help  
im sure dinah can get  
you a jla discount!!!  
AND this is all part of  
starfire’s pop culture  
education  
so like I said, im BUSY  
ask literally anyone else  
I’ll let you drive the  
Batmobile during patrol  
for a week.  
a month  
A week and I’ll upgrade  
your current bike.  
deal, but I get to bring  
arsenal and starfire with me  
the three of us have been  
wanting to go to fiji to see  
that blue ass water  
Fine, but remember you’re  
there for work and not leisure.  
Status updates on TT every  
hour on the hour and  
a detailed mission report.   
yeah, whatever you say B  
I’ll write it on the back of a  
postcard just for you  
Thank you, Jay.  
Read 1:44PM  
  


  


  


Google

signs of an overprotective

signs of an overprotective parent  
signs of an overprotective boyfriend  
signs of an overprotective mom  
signs of an overprotective single parent  
signs of an overprotective father

  


www.modernparents.com › articles › parenting 101 ▼  
5 Signs You’re Being “Too Extra” With Your Kids  
Jul 21, 2017 We all worry about our kids—the world is a scary place after all.  
However, there’s a line between valid concern and irrational paranoia...  


www.buzzfeed.com › tweets › overprotective-parents ▼  
31 Tweets Every Kid With Overprotective Parents...  
Nov 30, 2019 Strict parents stressing you out? Don't worry! We went through  
the best end-of-the-year tweets and rounded up our favs! Here's our list of relatable tweets...  


www.psychtoday.com › blog › insights ▼  
Helicopter Parents: More Harm than Good?  
Aug 29, 2018 Last week, a new peer-reviewed journal published by Psychological Review  
details a new study that highlights what the long-term effects of strict parenting...  


  
  


### 5 Signs You’re Being “Too Extra” With Your Kids 

  
By Katie Smith  
mommy blogger  


  
  


We all worry about our kids—the world is a scary place after all. However, there’s a line between valid concern and irrational paranoia. Regardless of your personal beliefs, I'm sure we can all agree that "too much" of anything can have opposite results! It's all about striking that balance—that fine line between too lax and too strict. And hey, if you're up for some introspection on your parenting methods, I've made a short list of things that you might be doing that causes your kids to become professional eye-rollers.

  


Without further ado, here is a list of five signs that make your teenager scream that you’re “being too extra.”

  


1\. You spy on their phones/computers/electronics.  
This is a controversial topic among modern parents: is it the parent’s right to go through their child’s phone/computer/etc. or is it a violation of their privacy? Before you raise your pitchforks, put yourself in your child’s place—would you want someone to go snooping through your texts and private messages? Probably not. It’s less about having something to “hide” and more about basic privacy. Breaking your child’s trust by snooping can lead to irreparable damage in the relationship. Trust your child to know what is and isn’t allowed. And if there’s a problem, trust that they will come and talk to you about it. 

  


2\. You have a GPS tracking app installed on their phone or in their car.  
Like with the first point, it’s all about trust. If you have limitations on where your child can go, trust that they will abide by them. And if for some reason they’re constantly pushing those limits, maybe it’s time to sit them down and rework some of them together. Remember: talking, not yelling or demanding, to your child is the best way to get through to them. Listen to their concerns and work together to reach a favorable solution.  


...

...

...

  


Click here to continue reading [modernparents.com](http://www.modernparents.com/)

  


Stephanie Brown  
  
Yesterday 11:27 PM   
lmao this is u   
Yesterday 1:15 AM   
respond  
  
B  
  
come on  
  
stop brooding  
and respond to my meme  
  
Go to sleep, Stephanie.  
  
Read 1:16 AM  
>:(   
  
no.  
  
  
Today 2:04 PM   
Am I "extra?"  
  
Read 2:05 PM  
  
what the actual fuck.  
  
WHO taught you that?  
and WHY???  
  
i have to be hallucinating  
right now...  
  
to answer your question: yes.  
  
Alright.  
  
you dont respond to my  
memes but you do this  
instead!!!  
im sending this to the gc  
i cant believe this  
What "gc"...?  
haha whoops! autocorrect!!  
theres no batkids gc  
or anything like that  
Stephanie...  
  
sorry B, i gotta go  
water my kevlar  
ttyl. bye!!!  
We'll discuss this further  
during dinner tonight.  
  
Delivered 2:09 PM  
  


  


  


Google

Am I an overprotective parent?

  


Google

how to stop being overprotective

  


  


  


Cassandra (Cass)  
  
Today  2:10 PM  
Is 👓 👔 coming to dinner?  
  
I didn't know he was invited.  
  
ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ  
Ask.  
(￢_￢;)  
Now. ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻  
(oT-T)尸  
┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)  
( ; ω ; )  
Read 2:17 PM  
(◕‿◕✿)  


  


Google

Is it weird to invite your coworker to a family dinner?

  


Barbara (Babs)  
  
Today  2:25 PM  
It's only a little weird.  
  
But then again, it's you so  
the social norms don't apply.  
  
Are you monitoring me?  
  
Only a little. I'm updating the  
security system and  
  
There was only so much  
googling without interferring  
that I could take.  
  
Your searches made me sad :(  
I thought I'd offer my advice   
Unsolicited advice.  
But advice none the less!   
Go ahead.   
My advice was just to  
invite him.  
And to not be a jerk to him.  
Maybe even smile once...  
but don't hurt yourself trying.  
Thank you for your  
infinite wisdom.  
Read 2:39 PM  
Anytime :) go get 'em tiger!!  


  


  


Richard (Dick)  
  
Today  3:00 PM  
Hey B  
  
Sudden change of plans  
I can’t pick dami up today 😭  
  
double shift w/ amy 😭 😭 😭  
  
That's fine. Thank you for  
informing me.  
  
Should I let Alfred know  
you won’t be attending  
dinner then?  
  
yeah and I prob wont be  
going out w you or dami either  
  
:(  
  
It's ok. Take care of yourself.  
  
Read 3:06 PM  
I love you too, B <3333  


  


Damian  
  
Today  3:13 PM  
I’ll be picking you up  
from school today.  
  
What about Grayson?  
  
Working a double shift.  
  
Read 3:15 PM  
Today  3:28 PM  
Father,  
Kent and I were talking  
about the positive benefits  
of acquiring a companion  
for Titus.  
Especially since our line  
of work requires us to be  
away from the manor  
frequently.   
No more pets, Damian.  
Titus already has Alfred the Cat  
and Batcow.   
He's not lonely.  
How can you be so sure?  
You spend all your free time  
with him and he’s never alone  
at the manor with how many  
people and animals live there.  
Read 3:37 PM  
I suppose that's true.  
How about I look up  
some dog parks we can  
take Titus to?   
That way he can socialize  
with other dogs without us  
having to get another one.  
That is an acceptable  
compromise.  
Thank you, Father.  
You’re welcome, Dami.  
Read 3:42 PM  
Today  4:05 PM  
Kent would like to know if  
he could join us for dinner.  
He's welcome to join us.  
I'll confirm with Clark.  
Read 4:08 PM  


Google

dog parks in gotham

  


Clark Kent  
  
Today  4:22 PM  
Damian asked if Jon could  
stay for dinner. I told him  
he’s welcome to join us.  
But I had to confirm if  
it was fine with you.  
It’s alright with me too  
I’m glad they get along so well  
they're like a house on fire  
I'm glad too.  
Read 4:27 PM  


C:\Windows\system32\cmd.exe

>>Ask him already, you coward.

>>Do it or else I’ll tell Cass._

  


Are you free this evening?  
  
Read 4:35 PM  
probably. Why do you ask?  
  


C:\Windows\system32\cmd.exe

Has anyone in this family ever heard of minding their own business?

>>surely you're being sarcastic because there's no way you lack this much self-awareness_

  


Since Jon is coming over,  
I wanted to extend the  
invitation to you too.   
It’ll be easier if you arrive  
and leave together.  
Read 4:40 PM  
oh.  
That makes sense.  
I’d love to come to dinner.  
I miss Alfred’s cooking.   
Dinner is at 6:30.  
Wear something other than  
plaid please.  
Read 4:42 PM  
Haha sure, I’ll do my best  
see you then  


  


Barbara (Babs)  
  
Today  4:45 PM  
You are an idiot.  
But I’ll give credit where  
credit is due  
You did manage to  
invite him and you only  
insulted him once.  
It went better than  
I was expecting  
So there’s that.  
Do you have that little  
faith in me?  
yes  
Why are you and Cass  
invested in this so much?  
like I said, you’re an idiot  
I feel like I’m missing  
something.  
Read 4:49 PM  
you’ll realize it soon enough  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Links to all the resources utilized by the custom workskin:  
> [Text messages](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845?view_full_work=true)  
> [Email & modified code for cmd.exe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953412)  
> [Article](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21974437)  
> [Custom page dividers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5817334)  
>   
> Everything else was a matter of creating simple entries in the workskin and modifying text, size, color, etc.  
> Thank you to everyone who posted tutorials on how to skin fics.


	2. Stephanie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun coding this chapter.

steph   
@purplebat

vent account | irls and bats DO NOT INTERACT 

gotham 

10 Following |  3 Followers 

Tweets  31K  Likes  2.5K 

  


steph   
@purplebat

dskjhfskdjf everyone is jealous I get to witness the dumpster fire that is Tonight’s Family Dinner

❤  5:21 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

cass, lit rally 3 mins ago: sorry cant go I have to do a Thing

me: is that thing murder?

cass: its not not murder

me: do u get off on being cryptic

cass: yes. 

me: 

❤  5:24 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

by everyone I mean tim and jason but yeah gonna livetweet this trainwreck so get fucking ready

steph  @purplebat

dskjhfskdjf everyone is jealous I get to witness the dumpster fire that is Tonight’s Family Dinner

❤ 5:25 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

me: why tf do YOU get to go to fiji with ur bf 

tim: bc its for a mission??

me: how come you never took ME to fiji when we were dating 😡

tim: im sorry?

me: that’s right. Apologize. Im fucking your sister btw

tim: no you aren’t

me: youre right, im not :(

❤ 1 5:29 PM • May 1, 2020

tim | fiji 💛   
@redbird

replying to @purplebat

iirc she isn’t straight either but she probably b*tg*rl-zoned you

❤ 1 5:33 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @redbird

idk who b*tg*rl is, im spoiler 🙄

❤ 1 5:34 PM • May 1, 2020

tim | fiji 💛   
@redbird

replying to @purplebat

🤔

❤ 1 5:35 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

bruce tripped over titus and nearly fell down the stairs

❤  6:14 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

that’s so sad :( :(

❤  6:14 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

stan list ✨

❤  6:14 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

doorbell rang, bruce banged his knee getting up from the table I cant fucking stop crying fgjksdf 😂 😭 😭 

❤  6:30 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

jon intercepted clark and hugged him. Bruce is lowkey jealous LMAO hes fucking glaring at a 10 yr old I cant do this 

❤  6:32 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

hhhhh the idiot forgot to interrogate me about the batkids gc. another win for feminism. 

❤  6:34 PM • May 1, 2020

jay   
@deadhood

replying to @purplebat

if he ever read through the chat he’d have an aneurism…im gonna show it to him

❤ 1  6:35 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @deadhood

stop tryin to kill ur dad before he gets to shoot his shot

❤ 1 6:36 PM • May 1, 2020

jay   
@deadhood

replying to @purplebat

do you REALLY think he has the emotional intelligence needed to ask someone out that he actually likes? 

❤ 1  6:37 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @deadhood

ok, fair point. BUT I wanna see how this night ends lol

❤ 1 6:38 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

Alfred made veggie lasagna omgg YESS 🙏

❤  6:40 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

clark and jon: having a nice convo about Normal Family Things

me: god I wish that were me ,,, 

❤  6:55 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

b: *glares at clark*

clark: *smiles and makes direct eye contact*

b: *snaps stem of wineglass*

me: what the fuck

❤  7:37 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

b casually acting like breaking wineglasses is a normal occurrence “oh haha silly me” like ? he seriously spoke in his BRUCIE voice. Im cringing so hard 

steph  @purplebat

b: *glares at clark*  
clark: *smiles and makes direct eye contact*  
b: *snaps stem of wineglass*  
me: what the fuck

❤ 7:39 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

clark asked if B was ok but then B ran out of the room to go change clothes. lol smooth move BRUCIE

❤  7:41 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

clark just followed him!!! Into!!!! The!!! Bathroom!!!!!!

❤  7:42 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

b be in the bathroom like: frantically googling how to seduce a himbo when you have 0 social skills

❤  7:43 PM • May 1, 2020

jay   
@deadhood

replying to @purplebat

step 1: be honest with yourself and your feelings  
bruce: damn I failed already

❤ 2  7:44 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

ok so Alfred left … Somewhere™

❤  7:45 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

clark ur son just escaped w his BFF upstairs. They took titus with them :( titus come back

❤  7:47 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

wait wtf why am I the only person left at the table

❤  7:48 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

ooOOoo alfred’s back with cake haha suck it losers *I* get to eat ALL the cake 

❤  7:49 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

im only gonna say this ONCE: ca:tws gay rights. Thank you ,,. 

❤ 3 7:55 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

oh the idiot couple is back. 

❤  8:02 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

they look flustered and b still has on his stained shirt but now it’s completely soaked. I think clark actually tried to get the stain out. b’s brooding in the corner 

❤  8:04 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

im just imagining how the convo went:  
  
b: this is my chance to seduce him  
clark: I am here to help you get this wine stain out and do nothing else  
b: my lips are stained too, can you help with that ;)  
clark: no? go wash your face.  
b: 

❤  8:07 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

should have taken the cake and booked it like the demon brat did. the tension is thicc and every time I try to say something b glares at me. 

❤  8:09 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

its not MY fault b had his ~gay awakening~ the same evening clark came over. I thot he already HAD his ~gay awakening~ ugh hes like old, shouldnt he have his shit together by now?

❤  8:09 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

I know the code to the kryptonite safe. I wont hesitate bithc

kon @ fiji 🌊 @klon-el

my entire tl is just steph damn does she ever shut up

❤ 1 8:12 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

but to be fair, the button-up clarks wearing is…very tight 😳 If b aint gonna tap that then, well, who am I to deny myself the pleasure of doing so in his stead?

❤ 1 8:14 PM • May 1, 2020

kon @ fiji 🌊   
@klon-el

replying to @purplebat

ew can u not, clarks like my dad

❤ 1 8:20 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @klon-el

and? We all got daddy issues baby!!! Lemme thirst tweet in peace 😤 😤 😤

❤ 2 8:21 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @klon-el

also fuck you for being in fiji 

❤ 1 8:21 PM • May 1, 2020

kon @ fiji 🌊   
@klon-el

replying to @purplebat

we’re not there yet also tim says thank you for the livetweets hes laughing so hard his stomach hurts

❤ 2 8:23 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @klon-el

stfu im mad at both of you for enjoying this while I have to SUFFER through it

❤ 2 8:24 PM • May 1, 2020

tim | fiji 💛   
@redbird

replying to @purplebat @klon-el

fill the manor bathtub with Fiji Water™ and it’ll be like you’re there too :)

❤ 1 8:26 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @redbird @klon-el

I will end you. 

❤ 3 8:27 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

oh shit looks like the dinner date is over fellas

The Gotham Gazette✔ @gotham_gazette

#BREAKINGNEWS: Arkham Asylum Breakout. Possible "Fear Toxin" outbreak. Seek immediate shelter indoors.

❤ 8:33 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

oh worm?? B just asked clark to take damian and jon to stay overnight at the kent farm.  
damians mad but jons calming him down

❤  8:38 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

this is a league mission™ so my ass is staying home and finishing this cake 🙏 🤤  
the two dumbasses can go fight scarecrow themselves and thats on period 💅

❤  8:40 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

I HOPE dick still has some of his bathbombs left 

hehehe Im gonna STEAL one and USE IT and he cant do anything to stop me bc hes not here! 

❤  8:44 PM • May 1, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

so b and clark are out fighting together like the stupid battle couple they are and im about to take a hot bath while eating cake and reading [redacted] fanfic. 

  


/end livetweet

❤ 1 9:07 PM • May 1, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

2 AM Thots: b*tm*n should have an official twitter account and *i* should be in charge of it. 

❤ 3 2:04 AM • May 2, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

me: relax time

b: I need backup

me: And What Do You Want Me To Do About It?

❤ 3 3:01 AM • May 2, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

just saw 2 clowns fighting in the street. Honestly? that’s kinda woke.

❤  3:09 AM • May 2, 2020

  


steph   
@purplebat

and the names of the clowns? B and clark

steph  @purplebat

just saw 2 clowns fighting in the street. Honestly? that’s kinda woke.

❤ 3 3:14 AM • May 2, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

Ok im tired just read the tl;dr of what happened 

❤ 3 3:52 AM • May 2, 2020

basically clark is mad that bruce took a hit for him, bruce is mad that clarks mad andIM mad bc I should be asleep. I was on civilian duty just so everyone is clear I was not involved in this dumbassery.  
Scarecrow threw a grenade (?) that had powder kryptonite in it right at clark and bruce was like mOVE and the grenade hit him instead. Of course bruce got hurt because the grenade EXPLODED but it wasn’t super strong or anything. Idk how this shit works im not a chemist.  
  
Hes got a few bruised ribs and maybe a sprain in his arm I think. Hes not dying or close to dying though. Just banged up a bit. Lol hes leaning on a wall and screaming at clark while pretending it doesn’t hurt to breathe.  
  
Anyway so rn theyre waiting for the cops to show up or w/e so im gonna go home but to my _Actual Home_ and not the manor. 

steph   
@purplebat

The sheer fact its 4 AM and I have a 10:45 AM class…wew guess whos not showing up to it

❤  3:55 AM • May 2, 2020

tim | fiji 💛   
@redbird

replying to @purplebat

how are you not failing

❤ 3:56 AM • May 2, 2020

steph   
@purplebat

replying to @redbird

im attractive, and that’s all that matters these days 🤪

❤ 1 3:57 AM • May 2, 2020

  


#  Gotham Gazette

### Trouble in Paradise?! Batman and Superman Get in a Heated Argument After Apprehending Scarecrow 

  
By Vicki Vale  
Columist  


  
  


GOTHAM – It was like watching a train wreck catch on fire; you just couldnt’t look away from the scene in front of you. That's what it was like for the select few that witnessed the now-viral spat between Batman and Superman. The duo arrived at the scene together, Batman launching a grappling hook while Superman swept in beneath him, and immediately went to deescalate the situation.

  


Scarecrow had an undisclosed number of barrels containing fear toxin gas scattered around the city that would be released in mere minutes. As usual, it took seconds for the pair to come to an agreement with Superman using his speed and strength to neutralize the barrels while Batman dealt with the main villain himself. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until the last few minutes of the fight: Scarecrow threw a hand grenade toward Superman the moment the hero landed. 

  


However, Batman pushed him out of the way and took the blunt of the damage. We are unsure of the substance that exploded from the grenade but those who witnessed the scene inform us that it was a green powder-like gas and most certainly not fear toxin. Witnesses also recount the grenade going off like any regular grenade; just instead of smoke being released it was the green substance. 

  


All we have to say if that’s true is: yikes, that’s got to hurt. No eye witnesses were close enough to hear the specifics of the argument, but our guess is it has something to do with Batman taking the hit for Superman. We have to say, we’re on Superman’s side here: a grenade hitting the Man of Steel wouldn’t even leave a scratch on him. So the question that we can’t stop thinking out is: why _did_ Batman decide to take the hit for Superman? 

  


Let us know in the comments below what your theory is!

  


Your trusted source for Gotham news. [Read the lastest news here.](http://www.gotham-gazette.com/)

r/Gothamites

Discussion Main Thread for BvS (i.redd.it)  
submitted 5 hours ago by tiredknightsfan  
1.7K Comments share report

Theory Superman is actually NOT invulnerable (i.redd.it)  
submitted 2 hours ago by superblue  
265 Comments share report

News Gotham Gazette: Trouble in Paradise?!...  (gotham-gazette.com)  
submitted 10 hours ago by gothbat  
514 Comments share report

Theory Superbat proof? (i.imgur.com)  
submitted 1 hour ago by finestlove  
90 Comments share report

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resources used:  
> [ Twitter code ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517134/)  
> [ Reddit HTML ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664164)
> 
> Stephanie's icon: [medieval bat](https://twitter.com/CampbellxEmma/status/1204543603013537792)  
> Tim's icon: [ red robin logo](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/51/8f/82/518f82854a1e8e6e4eee0f8439f6ef3b.png) and [ superboy logo](https://t3.rbxcdn.com/fb24894fca1a7899ff8a96952b4c83e3) combined in photoshop (by me)  
> Kon's icon: [ ayylien](https://rlv.zcache.com/vaporwave_alien_emoji_invitation-r0b132d311d5e4f779da47c8667c16520_zkn2u_540.jpg?rlvnet=1) but slightly edited in photoshop (by me)  
> Jason's icon: [ deadpool logo ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5f/2e/8b/5f2e8bb9837ac966fe4346387082d346.png) with [ this](https://imgbin.com/png/3xtA6zQj/aesthetics-tumblr-desktop-picsart-photo-studio-png) overlayed in photoshop (by me)


	3. Duke (Interlude)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wasn't going to give Duke his own chapter, but I lied. This is _kind of_ an interlude before things get...interesting.  
> It's a shorter chapter, but a very much needed one.
> 
> Also featuring the long-awaited gc.

forsythiaspoet.tumblr.com

“To burn always with this hard gemlike flame, to maintain this ecstasy,  
is success in life.”  \- _Walter Pater_

Duke | he/him | jersey

Following 102 Followers 361 

deadbxt goth-af goth-af superman and batman were fighting because superman said he didnt want to go to the mcr reunion tour :/ :/ :/  source: my galaxy level brain deadbxt to be fair, that IS a valid reason fight someone  Source: goth-af #what happened to being partners#i dont care if supes hates mcr #our dumb emo bat needs a partner who SUPPORTS him #and his emo music#mcr rights are emo rights 46 notes 

gaylefts batsupes **brain:** post your theory on the bvs drama **me:** it's not my place to theorize about real people's lives **brain:** they're fucking though **me:** oh yeah, they totally are no doubt about it Source: batsupes #hot take#sfdkhds this is a shitpost dont kill me or OP #but deadass what IF they are... 150 notes 

koumori-kun passionflower passionflower not to start anything but why WAS superman in gotham that night anyway? I kno the jla are friends and all but usually batmans all like “gtfo out of my city you disgusting ray of sunshine.” Supes is either in metropolis or saving people from burning buildings in rural areas in a different hemisphere…and scarecrow escapes from arkham every other day in gotham so its not as if batman NEEDED backup outside of his usually bird or bat adjacent member. Now once again, this is just SPECULATION, but what if superman was there that night because he was already in gotham to begin with. I cant see batman willingly calling in superman for backup, not when it was clear that batgirl was available as she arrived later to the scene, which brings me to conclude batgirl didn’t show up in tandem with batman BECAUSE she knew that superman was going to be there.  And why would superman be conveniently in gotham that night? Because he and batman somehow know each other outside of the masks. Not saying theyre in a romantic relationship but, come on, if youre a superhero and you’re part of an entire TEAM of heroes dedicated to saving the fucking galaxy or some shit like that, would it really be unrealistic to have a personal relationship with said teammates? I don’t think that’s reaching at all. I know being colleagues =/= BFFs for life, yet, is it a reach to say that theyre at least on friendly terms outside of the masks? Is it a reach to think they might live normal lives when theyre not saving the world from whatever the latest threat to humanity is?  My personal opinion is that theyre friends, maybe close friends even, and whatever happened last night was reminder of what happens when someone you care about gets hurt. the way they fought leads me to think that they care about each other in some way, be it platonic or otherwise.  Anyway, don’t @ me or anything bc I don’t care if you disagree, I don’t need that negative energy in my life especially from people who are _blatantly wrong._ relaxedbear I have nothing to add except damn, OP, you POPPED OFF. you're right and you should  say it. Source: passionflower #bvs drama //#bvs theory // #gotta say i agree with op #honestly tho who really knows 👀 1,858 notes 

bats & birds  
  
Yesterday 4:05 AM  
steph 🦇  
no one bother me until  
i get at LEAST 8 hours  
of sleep. goodnight  
tim 🐦  
have fun skipping  
class tomorrow  
cass 🐰  
👍  
gn   
Read 4:09 AM Today 11:31 AM  
tim 🐦 named the conversation "orphans club."  
steph 🦇  
im not an orphan -_-  
jason 🔫  
god I want to make a  
joke about that so bad  
steph 🦇 is typing...  
steph 🦇  
fuck it, whats the joke?  
jason 🔫  
I can help fix that  
steph 🦇  
bruh, do not fucking  
VIBE CHECK my mother.  
I saw that coming  
literally  
ba dum tss 🥁  
steph 🦇  
ok we get it 🔦  
😎  
Today 11:45 AM  
tim 🐦 named the conversation  
"orphans club + steph."  
tim 🐦  
there.  
steph 🦇  
that's better  
jason 🔫  
for now...🧐  
steph 🦇  
@roy @kori come get yalls  
murder bf  
dick 🐶  
none of you are orphans.  
jason 🔫  
pretty sure b’s not my dad  
dick 🐶 is typing...  
dick 🐶  
while youre wrong about that,  
it doesn’t matter, bc I’m your  
dad now  
jason 🔫  
I thought you were my  
self-appointed older brother  
dick 🐶  
<333 im so happy you  
acknowledged me as  
your brother   
im sure freud would love the  
two of you as a case study  
steph 🦇  
ok first of all,  
we ALL need therapy  
tim 🐦  
facts  
speak for yourselves  
dick 🐶  
whelp some guys speeding  
I gtg ttyl <33  
steph 🦇  
why is he like this  
...and second of all?  
steph 🦇  
cass and I are heading out  
cass 🐰  
🛫🛫🛫  
tim 🐦  
why were you so mad  
about me being in fiji  
if youre also going out  
of the country???  
tim 🐦  
Also where are you going  
cass 🐰  
Seuol 🇰🇷  
steph 🦇  
WE’RE GOING TO SEE LOONA  
cass 🐰  
LOONA (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
steph 🦇  
(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡  
jason 🔫  
wait I thought you two told B it was mission related  
are you somehow implying  
seeing LOONA  
is not part of the B*tm*n  
mission to keep Gotham safe?  
steph 🦇  
yeah what he said ^  
jason 🔫  
was this cass' idea?  
cass 🐰  
I like loona. They're cute  
steph 🦇  
and I like b’s  
credit card number :)  
also LOONA slaps  
cass 🐰  
we have front row seats  
v(｡･ω･｡)ｨｪｨ♪  
tim 🐦  
kinda jealous tbh.  
their music is fun  
jason 🔫  
yeah  
Anyway I have to get ready,  
im leaving soon too  
tim 🐦  
where?  
jason 🔫  
none of your business,  
replacement.  
tim 🐦  
so its with the outlaws then.  
before you two kill  
each other over text  
I am also leaving.  
Outside.  
Because its already past noon  
and I patrol during the day  
unlike the rest of you b*ts.   
maybe if yall got  
some vitamin D  
yall wouldn’t be so on edge  
all the time  
just a suggestion.  
steph 🦇  
ok flashlight.  


Fursuit wearing father figure  
  
Today 10:15 AM  
Just a heads up for when  
you wake up   
you and Clark are trending.  
Read 2:22 PM Today 2:23 PM  
Is it bad?  
Clark won't respond  
to my texts.  
Half the internet thinks  
youre together  
and the other half thinks  
you soon will be  
I know I haven't been  
around the manor lately  
are you two dating?  
Read 2:30 PM It's complicated.  
Short answer is no.  
...but you want to, right?  
That's not relevant to  
this discussion.  
sometimes I forget you really  
are that socially inept  
b, just talk to him. have an  
honest discussion.  
I promise you that it isn't  
as terrifying as you think it is.  
I can't. He doesn't want me  
...like that.  
Have you actually  
asked him?  
or are you assuming?  
No, I haven't.  
Well there you go.  
You never know  
unless you ask.  
I don't think he wants  
to see me.  
I think you two need therapy.  
and a book on  
communication skills  
You wouldn't be the first  
to suggest that.  
But thank you, Duke.  
I'll consider it.  
that's all I ask, you  
fursuit wearing bat.  
Read 2:54 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resources used:
> 
> [ Tumblr CSS ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099596?view_full_work=true)  
> [Duke's icon](https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.713884789.7803/flat,750x1000,075,f.jpg)  
> Tumblr icons: [ 1, ](https://1valentine.tumblr.com/post/176842780419/sinister-energy) [ 2, ](https://asiaedits.tumblr.com/post/179898559388/random-anime-girls-icons-like-or-reblog-if) [ 3, ](https://himechiin.tumblr.com/post/160863085673/ozora-akari-icons-credit-isnt-necessary-but) [ 4\. ](https://velvestuff.tumblr.com/post/174835846116/rilakkuma-icons-like-if-you-saved)


End file.
